Twenty-Something: Anxious and Sweaty

If you have known me for any length of time, you might have seen how much I can sweat, primarily my hands.  That's right I have extremely sweating hands.  I'm not talking a little clammy and cold when you are nervous (that's how it started when I was about 8), now at 24 my hands have the potential to pour sweat.  Like rushing down my arms, dripping everywhere.  The rest of my body sweats but that's a little bit more normal.  

On an average basis only my hands, feet and armpits sweat profusely.  However if I'm working out, all bets are off but that's normal and acceptable.  I can be in a full sweat when it's -20 degrees outside if I'm anxious.  Did you get those key words…anxiety is the primary cause of my sweat (I say primary but my body is normal and sweats to cool also, just more than most people).  Chalene Johnson, a fitness coach, says that if you start sweating from the warmup than your body is efficient at cooling.  Lately that's how I see it during these hot summer months but what about those other times when it's cool out and the reason I'm sweating is not to cool my body?

I have been to the dermatologist many times regarding this issue.  I was about 15 when it started to become worse and socially embarrassing.  She diagnosed it as hyperhidrosis, which is a true medical condition.  But when you identify something, it doesn't automatically make it go away.  So after about 10 years of different treatments, I still haven't found a medical remedy for my condition.  Since then though I have found a spiritual remedy.  

The thought occurred to me when I was distressed one day that nothing has helped decrease the sweating.  If the sweating does go away there are tons of side-effects.  Like the one pill I took that stopped all sweating, so in the summertime I would overheat.  The newest one I tried was a deodorant to put on your hands but it burned when I sweat through it sooooooo I stopped trying.  I was so distressed until I realized that never once that I can remember did I pray about it. WOW. I cannot believe that in the past four years as I have been growing closer to Christ did I tell not Him about my sweating issues.  Of course He already knows about them because He made me, but I never asked for help! 

That was a game changer.  As I recognize the underlying issues that cause me to sweat more, I ask God to help me deal with the situation in a way that will not trigger my anxiety.  It has helped some and even as I pray more I find myself overall less anxious.  Even sharing this story on the internet, which is extremely personal to me hasn't caused a sweaty flare up! 

K-LOVE's Encouraging Word of the Day is perfect for Today's Post:

God wants you to go to Him in prayer about anything!  He is our Heavenly Father and cares about every second of our day.  Therefore tell Him about it!  I've learned that prayer isn't simply asking for healing and guidance but just daily conversation, nourishing that relationship just like we would with any human.  Conversation is important so start talking to God!!

I always thought that if I would just stop the sweating then maybe I could date so it would be one less thing to be worried over.  I hold back when it comes to meeting people especially guys because who wants to date a sweaty girl?  Those are the lies I have been telling myself for years.  

I thought that I needed to stop my sweating before God could use me in the teaching or ministry field because the students and young kids will make fun of me.  But guess what, God calls me as I am right now.  Just like my post on Broken Pieces, God says: "Come to me, as you are."  

For me that's sweaty.  I have to learn to work through the anxiety and embarrassment of being sweating.  There are way too many times I have passed on an activity or outing because I was worried how my sweaty hands would affect people liking me.  I'm done losing out because God made me this way and I want to show others that each of us has a uniqueness.  Mine just happens to be more public and easily noticeable than others.  God doesn't want me to change for Him to be able to use me and I need to learn to accept myself just as I am right now too.  Maybe in the future I will be less sweaty but for now I know what I need to work on to get there and accept the circumstances where I can't control the sweating.  

So my question to you is what do you think you need to change before God can use you? I bet He is using you despite what you think needs to be changed! 

With Love,

A


*UPDATE* Here is Today's 7/10 encouraging Word and it fits perfectly into the topic as well!

Named by Our Circumstances #SheSharesTruth

Today's prompt is from the book of Ruth.  If you aren't familiar with it, I suggest you take a peak because it's a 4 chapter book that is so beautiful and rich with God's grace and provision.  Ruth is actually a matriarch of Christ's human genealogy but she wasn't born into the Israelite Nation so how did she become part of God's Story?

It begins with a man named Elimelek and his wife Naomi who lived in Bethlehem (does that town name ring a bell??).  There was a famine so they moved to Moab (an enemy nation land) to live.  They married off their two sons to Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth.  Soon all the men died and Naomi was left with her daughters-in-law.  She decided she wanted to go back to Bethlehem to her people.  She told the women to go back to their families and find new husbands to take care of them.  Orpah left but Ruth was determined to stay with her mother-in-law.  She says some beautiful words:

"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  

Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.  May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me." 

Ruth 1: 16-17

Ruth was willingly accepted Naomi's God which meant leaving behind all her gods and people.  This woman showed amazing sacrificial love, a trademark that we will see again in her descendant ;)

When Naomi and Ruth return to Bethlehem, Naomi tells everyone:

"Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter." 

Ruth 1: 20b

Naomi has renamed herself because of her circumstances.  She no longer wants to be called the name given to her by her parents (most likely influenced by God) but she wants to cast that aside for a name that describes how she is feeling about her life.  She is bitter.  She has lost her husband and sons.  Who is going to take care of her?  

How often do we cast off our names for something better? A nickname or pet name? While these can all be nice and good, our parents chose our name for a reason.  God knit us together in our mother's womb and knew our name before we were born.  He also calls us by many names: Beloved, Child, and Forgiven to name a few.  None of which are dependent on our good deeds or circumstance but God's Love for us!  

This prompt timing is nicely after I spent a few days at Creation Fest NorthEast where Matthew West performed.  He wrote a song called "Hello My Name Is".  Below is the video if you aren't familiar or would like to refresh.

Basically the song is about replacing all the names that we give ourselves with the names that God has given us.  Most importantly Child of the One True King! So what are some names that you have called yourself that don't reflect your true character? 

Me personally, a few years ago before I gave my life to Christ, I named myself as slutty and rebellious.  Often times I was proud of that name but deep down I wanted to be different but didn't know how to be.  Then I found Jesus' love and forgiveness.  Now I have erased that name and put on a new name tag, one filled with positive names that won't change based on my circumstances.  The world gives us names usually based on our appearance that will change but God names us based on His never changing love.  

So think about the names you give yourself, erase them and ask God to reveal some names that He calls you!

With Love,

A

ps Finish reading Ruth to find out how the beautiful story ends!

Twenty-Something: Broken Pieces

This past week, I spent at the beach with my mom, sister and dog, Layla.  It was a wonderful vacation to relax and enjoy some soulful rest.  The weather was gorgeous so we went to the beach everyday!  One of my favorite activities is to walk along the surf collecting shells.  I have had a fascination with shells since I was a little girl.  I would spend hours in the surf looking for beautiful shells to show off.  So as I was doing this one of the morning, God whispered some truths to me.  

I am always picking up shells and throwing out the ones that are broken and not pretty.  There are however those few that are broken but still hold some value because if they were whole, they would be amazing.  The Lord showed me that maybe this is how I view the broken pieces and parts of my life.  I am constantly searching for that whole part of me.  I only want to accept myself if I'm whole, but God says something different!  He wants to accept me just as I am, right now, this way: broken!!!!  He wants to use all those broken pieces, broken by the waves of life, to make a beautiful plan for me!  It's true for you too.

After David, commits adultery and kills a man he cries out to The Lord:

"My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise."

Psalm 51:17

He knew that he was broken but that's all he could offer to God but he also knew that God would accept him!  Isn't that wonderful news.  God accepts the broken pieces of our lives just as we are.  

Then I got to thinking about the broken pieces that I have been holding onto that are not serving any purpose.  Maybe I need to let go of those to make room for pieces of me that God desires for His plan.  Therefore I challenge you too to look at your heart and examine the pieces.  Are there parts you are clinging to but shouldn't be? Do you feel like it would be too hard to let go? Go to God! Ask Him to help you determine which pieces you need.  Just a like a puzzle, there are only the ones that belong to make the larger picture.

Lastly I want to leave you with this image.  It's wonderful being here on this Earth that God created for us to inhabit because He reveals Himself many different ways and places.  That day I saw His Hand at work in the bay: His calm but powerful nature able to transform landscapes and hearts while whispering calmness and rest.  You don't need to vacation to the beach to see God.  Where do you see Him around you?  Leave a comment, I want to know! 

Some of these thoughts about brokenness were also influenced by a book I just read: Finding Spiritual Whitespace.  If you click on the link, it will take you to my review of it!

With Love,

A

p.s. I'm going to challenge myself this week to write a post every day! I have had a few in the works that I never finished and I'm finally ready to get them all out there.  Come back at least for Friday for an exciting announcement ;) 

p.p.s here are some extra pictures from the trip!

Layla stole my chair!

My mom and I rocking the baseball hats!

The three musketeers! 

Finding Spiritual Whitespace Book Review

This post is part of the  “Finding Spiritual Whitespace Blog Tour” which I am a part of, along with a group of soulful, journeying kindreds. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!  

When I first signed up to be part of Bonnie Gray's Finding Spritiual Whitespace Book Review group, I was like certainly I can read a book and review it.  I would love to help out a fellow blogger and spread her gift of writing to the world.  I never imagined that it would set me on a journey of finding rest and closeness with my Lord and Savior.  

"Finding Spiritual Whitespace" is a wonderful reminder of living a restful and quiet life alongside The Lord.  Bonnie reminds us what Paul instructed the Thessalonians almost 2000 years ago:

"And in fact, you do love all God's family throughout Macedonia.  Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you." 

1 Thessalonians 4:10-11 (emphasis mine)

Is my ambition to lead a quiet life?  Not yet it certainly isn't, but I'm going to get there!  I want to live a life pleasing to The Lord and one area that could use work is spending time with Him.  

Throughout the memoir-driven book, Bonnie takes the reader on a journey to reaching a place of rest with God.  She even includes prompts to journal or pray through.  We take time to rest our bodies at night when we sleep but why don't we take time to rest our souls in the presence of God??? It doesn't have to be a great chunk of time or even a rigid regiment.  One of my favorite quotes from the book is: "Taking Care of yourself nurtures the voice God placed in you" (97, Gray).  

For me the most whitepace and rest I have with The Lord is when I run.  For years I never ran with music and slowly God has shown me that we can use that time catching up and strengthening our relationship.  Even reading the book, the time during my runs has an even greater impact as I imagine Jesus right there: His strong arms, strengthened from the weight of carrying us, pumping alongside me.  

So many times in her life,  Bonnie imagined Jesus right there with her, holding her.  The imagery and words she uses creates a beautiful image of Our Savior holding one of His hurting children.  Then I thought, why not remind myself that He is there with me every second of each day.

The book is chalk full of wonderful nuggets of wisdom and scripture.  The weave Bonnie has woven, is a beautiful picture of God's Grace and Love.  With the crazy and hectic world we are living in, we need to take the time and rest our souls.  This book is the perfect starting place to aid us in the journey.  

If you are overwhelmed with your past, present or future, READ THIS BOOK!!! It can help you find a starting point to become more restful, instead of restless!  We can all begin to follow the instructions Paul left about leading a quiet life!

So will you take the Whitespace Challenge with me?  Find time and perhaps even new and different ways to spend time with The Lord to give your soul the rest it deserves. 

Watch the trailer for the book!!

With Love,

A

p.s. Layla and Phineas both liked to accompany me during my readings!

Layla, my golden retriever pup

Phineas, my kitty

Our Brokenness #SheSharesTruth

Over the last 17 days, I have been studying the Book of Nehemiah with the #SheReadsTruth Community.  

Little Layla helping me!

If you haven't read Nehemiah lately, you should check it out because it's rich with God's Grace (as is all of the Bible!).  It starts out with Nehemiah leaving his job as a cup bearer to the king to return to his home (Jerusalem) once he hears news of the destroyed city.  He plans to rebuild the wall with the help of His Lord.  All the people came together and built the wall in record time: 52 days.  Here is the lovely map included in the Nehemiah Study Pack.  The wall wasn't small! 

Beautiful watercolor of the wall!

The people worked together to build and defend at the same time.  Many surrounding nations were afraid of the strength of the Israelite Nation and more importantly afraid of the works of their God.  Nehemiah stood strong in the face of the enemies threatening to attack.  He defended God's plan and saw it till the end.  Which convicted me so much!  How often do we want to give up or leave something because the enemy is attacking us, but we know God wants us to stay there??  In the end we need to stand firm in God's plan, see it to the end and give HIM  all the Glory once the task is accomplished!! 

The Joy of the Lord was their strength to accomplish the task!

After the wall was completed the Israelite people re-dedicated their lives to God.  If you have read any portion of the Old Testament, you might have seen a glimpse of the brokenness of the Israelite Nation.  When God freed them for their slavery in Egypt, they wondered in the desert for 40 years, grumbling all the while God was providing them food, shelter, and guidance.  The original generation wasn't even allowed to enter the Holy Land because they were ungrateful.  God was faithful throughout all their rebellion and arrogance.  As He is with us!

So Nehemiah led the people to renew their covenant with God, and become His Chosen People once again, following all commandments.  The people fervently agreed and on the outside looked like a new nation!  Ohhhhh how things can go soooo differently.  Nehemiah left the people once they established a new city and people to live within the walls.  He returned a few years later only to find every commandment they re-instated to be broken!!! WOW.  These are God's Chosen People in the Most Holy City on EARTH and they fall short.  

How much more can relate then?  Have you felt gun-ho one day to follow God and His plan only to fall short a few days or even hours later?  I certainly have.  I know that I would be right along with those people because the enemy sneaks in.  This cycle of rededication and falling short would have continued until today if God wouldn't have sent His Son to save us.  

The Book of Nehemiah ends with broken people because it points to the fact that we aren't whole without Jesus.  We would never have been able to please God with the brokenness of human nature inside of us.  Whether we like it or not, sin surrounds our heart.  Unless we protect our heart and ACTIVELY try to rid ourselves of sin, it will consume us.  

So repent of your sins, and renew your obedience with The Lord.  This should be done daily, I am most certain of it because we will fall short.  BUT there is HOPE.  God will forgive us:

"But you are a forgiving God, gracious, and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.  Therefor you did not desert them." 

Nehemiah 9.17b

How awesome of a God do we serve, always ready to take us back and give us new life in Christ!!  I would love to hear your thoughts about Nehemiah from any ladies who have been studying with #SheReadsTruth!

With Love,

~A

ps I got my swag from the #SheReadsTruth Kickstarter fundraiser!  Rocking the Tee with my beautiful prints in the background.