Friday, March 7, 2014

First Devotional: Psalm 130 #SheReadsTruth




So here it goes, my first post.  I created this blog a while ago because I thought it would be a good idea to help others going through similar situations to offer encouragement.  Even though I came up with some post ideas, I never wrote a word.  That was until I was reading Wednesday's #SheReadsTruth devotion where they suggested that each Friday the readers become the teachers.  So I'm going to try to tap into the wisdom that the Holy Spirit has given me and write about this scripture passage.


For those of you who don't know, I am caring for my mom who had a Brain Aneurysm and Stroke in May 2013. My sister has a full time job while I stay at home and help my mom with everyday tasks as well as going to physical, occupational and speech therapy.  As a family we decided to buy a new golden retriever puppy.  I was so excited to have a cute fur ball in the family that I did not prepare myself for the immense load of work needed to raise her.  Being the main caregiver for both her and my mom took a toll on me.  Last week, I snapped.  I couldn't hold my anger and rage back any longer.  She peed inside and bit me one too many times.  But the thing with puppies is the more that you yell at them, it only frustrates you because they don't know to be afraid of you.  So the more I screamed, it didn't bother her, she continued to do what she wanted.  I felt as if a Rage Monster (that's what I used to call it when I was younger and dealing with my anger management) was controlling my heart and not God.  Maybe you can relate. What has the devil used to bring out the ugliness of sin within you?  In addition I also lashed out at my mom.  She is so fragile emotionally that it was easy to make her cry and I knew how.  In that moment I felt so broken and such a terrible person.  I ran to the cross and the feet of Jesus.  It was all that I could do.  I sobbed and cried out to Him, asking for forgiveness and the glue to put me back together.  (1John 1:9)

I wonder if the author of this Psalm had a similar experience.  I was so ashamed of my actions, they were certainly not Christlike.  I confessed all my nasty actions and thoughts, after a few quite minutes I was able to regain my composure.  I went to the ones that I had hurt to apologize and the beauty of dogs is that they forgive immediately.  She treated me as if no wrongs had been committed.  That's how God will treat you if you confess your sins.  He gives you utter and total forgiveness.  Wipes the slate clean.  That's all I had wanted, no recollection of the worst moments of my week.  Jesus went to the Cross to die for the sins of every person in the world so that there will be no record of them.  (Colossians 2.14) This is something I need to remember not just during Lent and Easter but every single day.  We will not have to face death because Jesus drank from The Cup that we deserved! (Isaiah 51:22, Matthew 20:22)

This Psalm also reassures me of no matter how broken and sinful I am, God's love is unfailing.  He will forgive all of our sins and make us a new creation (2Corinthians 5:17).  Each day I can see that God is working in me to make me the person He wants to use.  Since the "Rage Monster" incident, I ask for His patience each day when dealing with the dog and my mom.  Also for Lent I have given up speaking negatively about the dog in hopes to enjoy the puppy raising process instead of resentment and bitterness.  I want my daily actions to reflect God's love.  This Psalm is perfect for the beginning of Lent because it kicks off the season of purifying ourselves from the sins that hold us captive.  For me this year, it is anger.  Last year it was overeating and indulging of sweets.  I encourage you that whatever you have decided to give up or add to your life for Lent, be reminded that it is for the Glory of God!


~A

3 comments:

  1. Amanda, thank you for sharing. You are an amazing child of God. I can only imagine how proud he is of you. You are taking on such a huge responsibility and with a servant's heart at such a young age AND willingly. You are a wonderful example and witness.

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    1. Thank you Darla! I appreciate your kind words :D

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  2. This made me cry! You have such a beautiful soul Amanda!

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